The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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