you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
