you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
handjob tips. give me some.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize