Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
