Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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