I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i permit you to call me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
