Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This is my gift to your gina
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
