I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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