so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
