WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
