so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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