Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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