The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
whose parrot is this?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
