just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
