just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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