is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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