I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
