I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
