Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
