May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
