well you can't waste a boner
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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