I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize