Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
