You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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