All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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