He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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