So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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