People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
