he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Let's paint friendship bongs
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Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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