we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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