how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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