"it" just moved
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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