So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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