i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
