This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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