butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
