john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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