You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
