Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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