he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize