i think my mom watched the whole time
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
