It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
