i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I've blown a few things in my day
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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