Dude my mom stole all your condoms
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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