that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
