Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
