You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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