Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
