Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
