We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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