When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
