Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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