I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
