she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
