Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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