My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
